September 2009
2 posts
A: Kangaroo is such an ass. You watching this?
B: haha, you mean Kanye?
A: LOL yes. My phone did that by itself
What they sent: A: Can you pick up million on your way home B: sure. The drawings tonight? A: What drawing? B: Lotto A: Oh. I think so.
What they meant: A: Can you pick up milk on your way home B: sure. The drawings tonight? A: What drawing? B: Lotto A: Oh. I think so.
The result: “B” picked up a Mega Millions lotto ticket.
August 2009
25 posts
A: I wish theyd get rid of that loser agenda on entourage
B: what agenda?
A: huh?
B: was that meant for me?
A: lol. yes. I meant agent not agenda. My phone changed the word on its own
My incoming texts get split into two texts when...
A: F that. I’ve been cleaning and shit all day.
B: F that? Well fine then, bye.
A: What?
He was saying something along the lines of being tired of partying.
A: How was pourboys last night?
B: awesome. special on heine only $3 a bottom. was there til close
A: Was there a special on boobs too?
B: I dont now what that means ?
A: Never mind
A: I miss you. you coming out?
B: y
A: What time?
B: asap. so bored. just hanging out with the pms
A: tmi
B: no no. the p’s
A: lol
A: thanks alot for breaking my camel last night
B: sorry about that. next time im in iraq ill look at new one’s
A: bastard
A: who sang the 7 inning stretch?
B: Jeremy pivot
A: How was his apt?
B: It was ok. His bathrobe smelled kind of musty.
A: gross. So u saw his bathrobe. u slut
B: BATHROOM. OOPS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA
A: Did my people masterbate come in the mail?
B: ive been staring at that message for five mins. who masterbated in the mail?
A: wow lol. did my people magazine come?
What they meant: Jay Cutler looked good last night. I’m pumped
What they sent: Jay cupcakes looked good last night. I’m pumped
A: on our way, be there in 20 mins
B: cool, we ordered a pizza, should be here at the same time
A: sounds foot
B: ?
A: I meant sounds good.
A: Fuck you
B: No, duck you!!!
A: I win.
A: r u coming out to the beach?
B: not sure yet havent checked the weapon
A: u bringing your gat? lol
A: I’ll see you there then?
B: Hell no, ESPN since Pats gonna be there
A: huh?
B: especally
A: you’re dumb
A: what time are you going up there?
B: 11 oceans
B: lol i meant 1100
A: I'm done with him. He just sat there all night playing xylophone
B: he has a xylophone?
A: hahahah xbox
G: I’ll let you know I have hella stiff to do
B: Jealous, I wish I had hella stiff to do!
G: I hate you.
A: Get here quick, we're about to start
B: As soon as I can...the girlfriend is being a little birthday
A: is that slang?
B: spelling mistake. I meant bitch
A: Will you remind me to send a thank you note to youtube.com/watch?v=dZploaJh1QI&feature=bzb302 mother?
B: What the fuck was that?
A: Did you hear? Brethren Favre is back.
B: How do you spell Favre right but not brett?
A: Wanna go see Away We Go?
B: What is away we go?
A: John krasinski and myanmar rudolph
B: I like her but she'll always be burma rudolph to me
A: Brilliant.
How much was your flight
it was just over two hungry i think
Go eat something. I’ll wait for your answer.
Bastard. 200
A: I have an extra ticket to the cardiovascular game tonight wanna come? A: Cardinals game. B: i figured as much. i’m in
What they meant: You froze my pc you cunt
What they sent: You froze my pc you Cynthia
can I borrow your car tonight?
duck off I'm still on my first tank of gas
Is Tommy with you?
hesitate standing next to me.
?
he’s standing next to me.